Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Randomize