How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
