break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
