so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
