If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
