i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
