I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I'm experimenting with sincerity
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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