Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
