You really coming over, don't trick.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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