DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
i need some magic done to my vagina
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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