Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
