It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
