I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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