It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I am full of burrito and curiosity
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
