ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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