Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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