True but thats because hes a fetus.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
