Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize