I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
