Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
