she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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