i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Randomize
