Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
