i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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