No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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