The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
