The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
