my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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