after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
