Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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