i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
