You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i permit you to call me
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
