i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
