Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
You ruined the universe
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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