4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
