what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I just found puke in my bra..
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize