Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
