you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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