OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Randomize
