I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
