He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
he just fucked me for my cheese..
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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