We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
