I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
