hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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