She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
