I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
