Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
