His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
