The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
