So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Randomize
