; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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