I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
