Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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