she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
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