I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
