She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
