you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
