I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I am available for nakedness
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