I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Randomize
