His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
