Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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