I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
