My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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