speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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