I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
