Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Randomize