escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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