Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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