My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
