My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
