i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
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