idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Randomize
