He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
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