On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
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