dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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