Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
