Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
