shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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